Perfumes, parachutes, pogo sticks and partner-proof packaging – road.cc’s April Fool’s Day cycling hoax round-up

We definitely get the impression that April Fool’s Day hoaxes outnumber actual news stories this year. Here are some that we spotted. Feel free to add other cycling-themed efforts in the comments.

First up, the obligatory Jeremy Clarkson joke, with CTC claiming that the former Top Gear presenter is the front runner to replace Jon Snow as its President.

A CTC spokesperson said:  "CTC believes his unique style would resonate with our current membership, and that under his presidency we could reach a new and hitherto unreached audience about our leading campaigns of Space for Cycling and Road Justice."

With Clarkson now likely to be free over the summer, CTC hopes that he might also lead all 64 stages (6,800 km) of The Great Tour, of which the charity is lead sponsor.

Next, cycling component manufacturer, Cane Creek, has reportedly teamed up with pogo stick manufacturer, Vurtego, to produce the Double Barrel Rocket Propelled Pogo Stick with BOOST Switch (the CCDBRPPS-BS). They say it is the first pogo stick to offer clipless pedals, a headset for bar spins and multiple-travel options.

Professional athlete, Dan Brady, a former downhill racer who is preparing for his first EndurGO World Championship said: “This is my favorite stick ever. I love bombing the trails on this thing, man. It bounces through all the gnarly lines. I can tune for big air monster drops or gnarly root gardens – this stick takes EndurGO to a whole other level."

The pro peloton has also brought us a few stories. For example, this year’s Hell of the North is promising a jarringly inappropriate heavenly finish for the riders. In the event of severe weather conditions, the climax will take place in the covered velodrome.

The race will however be too early for the UCI’s new weather protocols, as reported by SBS Cycling Central. Using Geraint Thomas’s crash at Gent-Wevelgem as an example, their source said: “It was lucky that Thomas was not more seriously injured. He could have taken out his breakaway companions. So we realised that if riders were equipped with a well designed, unobtrusive and wearable parachute, he would instead have been ejected upward to safety and an even softer landing.”

Meanwhile, Fabian Cancellara is releasing a fragrance.

pic.twitter.com/WXcDmw34p3

— Fabian cancellara (@f_cancellara) April 1, 2015

We also found a handful of stories in local newspapers. The Bristol Post describes how cyclists will escort lorries through Bristol city centre under a new scheme to reduce speeds, while The Cambridge News reports on a local toy shop which has developed a left-handed bike horn.

Press releases from manufacturers and retailers have been coming in thick and fast.

The Rapha Guide to the Great Road Climbs of the Netherlands is described as ‘a uniquely unique niche cycling guide to the great cols of the Netherlands’.

Wiggle are offering ‘gravel training tyres’. “We've got different gravel for different training types.”

Scicon have unveiled their latest innovation – the AeroCardboard Evolution

Finally, what do you make of this one, again from Wiggle? The retailer claims it is switching its well-known white and orange delivery boxes to a new plain cardboard colour-scheme.

“During a recent customer survey conducted by the company, the phrase ‘Is that ANOTHER Wiggle package?!’ was apparently a common response from ‘better halves’, upon the arrival of the distinctive white and orange boxes. The complimentary bags of Haribo could only go so far in extinguishing the ensuing questions, so Wiggle have made a tactical move to make it easier for customers to sneak their deliveries into your home, without anyone noticing.”

The comments in the press release from a ‘Mr Colin Nago’ would appear to indicate that this is not all that serious, but some here in the office are wondering whether it might be a double bluff and that Wiggle really are making a change. It’s certainly a real issue for many people. One member of the road.cc team is housing someone's (“Can you look after this – she'll kill me”) Genesis MTB at this very moment.