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news
Bike shopMan buys new bike – wife is NOT happy and takes to Facebook to crowdsource revenge plans
The correct number of bikes to possess is famously n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. One woman has this week taken to Facebook to bemoan her husband’s etiquette in abiding by this rule. It seems the first she knew of his latest purchase was finding it in the dining room and she has therefore been asking for advice as to how to ‘punish him’.
Posting anonymously on the Spotted Worthing Facebook page, she wrote:
“My husband has just spent a horrifying (HORRIFYING) amount of money on a new road bike (of which he already has 2). The first time I'm aware of this little "treat" was finding it (freshly delivered) in our dining room (oh, it's worth mentioning at this point husband has slipped out to work and we're not due to see one another for a few days). Am I so angry I want to sever his Achilles (plural) so he can only look at it!
“No discussion about it, not even a whisper.
“I'm all for treats and I understand "boys and their toys" Christ, it was me who got him into the hobby, but we're married for Pete's sake! Note; we both work and I haven't bought the Chloe handbag I've been ogling in the spring collection.
“So my question is this; How do I punish him without resulting in me serving a custodial sentence?”
She later reveals that the bike cost £3,500, so he probably didn’t visit the shop that was reportedly offering spouse receipts last year. The aim of that was to enable cyclists to show their other halves they paid less for their bike than they really did – although such subterfuge does of course give rise to this fear.
The woman also clarifies matters by saying “please note it's OUR money” in response to a number of people pointing out that he can spend his money how he pleases.
Other responses vary from rather crude suggestions how she should apologise to Emma Burns’ pithy “send it back.”
Meanwhile, Richard Gr has advice for the husband: “It's easier to say "sorry" than "can I?" But I would suggest sleeping with one eye open for the time being.”
Kerry Moore says she should get a bike and go out with him – to which road.cc will add that she should also invest in an even more expensive model.
Stacy Seekins says simply: “Take it out for a spin. He'd be pissed you went on it first.”
The majority of the responses of course suggest that the couple might do well to try and communicate a little bit better.
Alex has written for more cricket publications than the rest of the road.cc team combined. Despite the apparent evidence of this picture, he doesn't especially like cake.
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59 comments
When I bought my current best bike for £2.5k my missus was rather surprised how much they cost. Turned to horror when I mentioned that I'd probably treat myself to a Aero bike next year, I think I'll have to hand-me-down my current winter bike to one of my brothers to get away with that.
Any more than the three bikes I have already is asking for trouble! I have to get another shed this year so I have room to store the inevitable kids bikes I'll need to pick up. I suspect I'll get less grief once everyone else has their own bikes, at least I hope so!
No matter whose money it is, I'd never dream of not discussing it with my wife though!
There is another way, being honest and talking about it.
I'm not recommending it you understand, just pointing out that it exists
(he says with a yet to be declared set of carbon hoops in the garage)
Love it!
Talking about spending £1000 on a pushbike with someone who doesn't have an out and out passion for bicycles can at least be a rational discussion. Trying to explain a £3,500 pushbike will have them think you are certifiable no matter how much they love you. Trust me on this.
[[[[[ "PUSHBIKE"?!? What's that, from the mouth of a cyclist? That's what you do when you're out on a ride and have mechanically pranged your velo, making it unrideable.....that's when you have to PUSH it, surely. (Okay, I won't call you Shirley).
1. It's a push bike because you push the pedals.
2. I think Mungecrungle used it deliberately as a dismissive term used by non cyclists.
There is another way - learn to build up your own bikes. Upgrades and replacing old parts are always more acceptable than new bike purchases, though I don't think I have ever made a major purchase (eg frame, groupset, race wheels) without at least mentioning it.
So you upgrade the frame, and then the parts. The outcome is the same.
Last new bike I bought was my Brompton, in 2008. Everything else I own has been is either 2nd hand, or self built.
Just thinking, the only upgrade I mastered on my 2013 Brompton are Carradice front and saddle bags - and which lady would mind a bag or two
Oh, and I do not buy a new bike - I just start new projects...
Regards,
Dr. Ko
well, I bought a pair of zipp 202s last year when I was feeling particularly flush and ballsy. I'm afraid to admit though, that I was frogmarched back to the shop and ordered to take them off
however, a massive sparkling ring for our tenth anniversary soon helped smooth over the inevitable refitting of the wheels!!
I wish I was that brave....
Think ahead and make sure what you're buying isn't too dissimilar to what it's replacing. Got away with Dura Ace upgrade from Ultergra, and Zipp 404 from Mavic Cosmics.......wasn't noticed. Separate bank accts is essential though
I think this is being m7s read. Clearly he is enjoying this new hobby she picked for him, and he thinks she would enjoy it too. Since he left it for her to find it must be a present so they can enjoy riding together.
New purchases should always be kept in the man shed and the key hidden.
Fancy leaving it in a room adjacent to her place of work.
The man has 2 bikes and just spent 3.5k on another one without talking it out with the wife. What sort of marriage is that. He either has some kind adiction to spending money on toys or they don't trust each other to even talk face to face
Agree there are surely issues. It looks a bit like saying "I can do what I like and I don't care what you think" to me - not promising. One wonders what recent interactions led the man to think that this was a good idea?
I think this rather depends on the financial situation. If I was on, say, a £150k+ pa director salary or something, then I think I wouldn't worry too much about buying a 3.5k bike off the cuff! (as long as it wasn't every week).
I'm not on that kind of money though, so I need to keep on saving ...
Your second sentence is the pertinent one ("what sort of marriage is that?")
I have 5 bikes currently, the last being the ludicrously expensive one (or at least the most expensive so far), my wife told me to buy a new one if I wanted one, and has still not asked how much it was.
She also suggested I convert the storage room in the back of the garage into a bike store
She also never commented when I bought an unnecessary sports car, a stupidly large TV, and when I spend ridiculous amounts of musical instruments or vinyl LPs
At the same time I never ask how much she spends on anything she wants to buy (though tbh I'm the one that spends the most)
If you don't have money issues why should one half of a partnership grumble if the other spends?
Sell it and by a 3K handbag.
Agree with steviemarco 'Your bikes should always be the same colour/ colour way'...or just say like I did....oh, its got my other set of wheels on
I say she get her bag... I don't think he'll care much... He's already got the bike... But, they should have a tlk about what 'their' money means... It's such a hard concept o define...
Your bikes should always be the same colour/ colour way so she's none the wiser. If they look the same she'll never know! Although I have the go ahead for a new Cipo frame
May I just chip in regarding Rule #12.
It states is can also be written as S-1, where S is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner...
One always has to think about all angles and what may tip the balance. "What, this old thing, I've had it for ages" can only be used infrequently otherwise you will get rumbled.
I have always heard the algorithm expressed as x-1
Bit daft to put it in the dining room.
I'm about to do n+1 this weekend too
I will head off any counter-argument by getting rid of two of the existing ones. So really n-1 ! It will hide in the garage for a while until the weather improves anyway. N is actually a sufficiently large number at the moment that she probably won't even notice 
This n+1 thing seems to be bandyd about a lot lately. Its a bloody good marketing ploy, iv had it told to me by two different bike salsmen from the same shop a year apart. You gotta admire people who have got the will not to get sucked into the whole marketing hype. He's just another selfish bloke out of controle.
What an idiot. At least when the divorce comes though he'll have more time to ride it...
When the divorce comes through it's highly unlikely he'll be able to afford to keep it.
This guy has clearly made some bad choices in the past!
Rookie error there. Or ballsy statement.
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