Sorry what? I heard the phrase "climb back into bed"...
The miseries of getting out of bed on chilly mornings like these and the never-ending allure of the warm, cosy blanket aside, this bike lane which I can only describe as truly bizarre gets the top billing on today's episode of the UK's most wonderful cycling infrastructure.
Next to the University of Birmingham on Bristol Road, someone had to paint this tapestry of road signage, only after someone devised this mishmash in their heads and sketched it out. So let me see if I can get this right. Double broken white lines mean give way, so I watch out for any oncoming cyclists, then take a mandatory right, but with the shared space pavement gate closed off, I'm supposed to turn back and go the way I came from?
The sad part is that it seems that the authorities are aware about this interesting cycling provision. Esther Barnes, a cyclist from Birmingham said that she has already reported this infrastructure and was told that action would be taken to improve the bike lane signage. However, Owen de Visser, another Brum cyclist and art gallery director who orginally shared the picture, said that the place had been like this since November.
He added: "Of course cyclists are supposed to go through the barrier, then dismount until reaching this 'shared' lane. I'd suggest pedestrians can be forgiven for not noticing the bike signs here."
Cyclists on social media, as you'd expect, are losing their heads over this apparent piece of road. Tom Poole wrote: "Take a right, into Tesco, grab a bottle of wine, pay leave," while @Dutchy280 suggested doing your best Tadej Pogačar impression: "Pull an wheelie followed by a bunny hop, end with a JC on the handbars into Tesco Express of course."
Or how about this suggestion from Tom Lawton: "Track stand at the end to rapturous applause from the onlookers, before celebrating with a bottle of Diamond White from Tesco."
And finally, ding ding, we have the right answer!