Bart Chan demolishes Metro columnist's anti-cycling rant

You may have noticed there was yet another anti-cyclist rant in the press yesterday – this time, courtesy of Metro and its blog co-ordinator, Yvonne Caster.

We don’t usually give these tiresome diatribes the time of day on road.cc, but London cyclist Bart Chan sent us a fantastic takedown which follows the structure of the Metro piece, while demolishing it in spectacular fashion.

We’ve featured Bart on road.cc before – back in May, when he was in hospital recovering from injuries sustained when he was rear-ended by a lorry as he was riding his bike along Upper Thames Street.

In an interview with BBC London’s Tom Edwards, he hit out at mayor Boris Johnson’s record on making the capital’s streets safer for cyclists.

- HGV collision victim Bart Chan accuses Boris Johnson of "empty words" on London cycling safety

With Caster accusing cyclists of “causing accidents and generally being a total liability on the modern highway,” we reckon Bart, given his own experience, has something to say on the issue.

And he gives it with both barrels; it’s best read in conjunction with the Metro piece, but if you want to avoid a red mist descending, we’ll understand if you skip it. Over to Bart:

There's a writer with a lonely single brain cell haunting our cherished media - the crap journalist.

She or he, gender isn't really relevant, is normally found spouting complete nonsense on rags which care more about getting advertising cash than quality journalism that holds those in power to account - the true noble calling of the journalist. Instead the crap journalist causes a horrid stink disseminating rancid views attacking vulnerable groups who are often scapegoated because stupid people need someone to blame for their crappy lives.

Anyone with half a brain looks like Einstein compared to the crap journalist whose absurd prose is somehow allowed to pollute our culture with its tradition of great writers. The crap journalist is a national disgrace and should go back to school to retake their GCSE English and learn how to write something other than vacuous click bait.

Let's try to figure out where it all went wrong.

Appearances. How one looks is the be all and end all of the crap journalist. Like a virus, they feed off the looks of the rich and famous, almost always women. What they're wearing, their weight, how saggy their tits look - it's the staple of the crap journalist. It all comes from their own insecurities about themselves, because the crap journalist often has the looks of a troll living under a bridge, their overweight bodies sweating profusely as they wear hideous amounts of make-up to compensate for a face that would make a gargoyle scream.

Writing such crap also takes a physical toll and leaves you looking like Jimmy Saville sporting eyeliner.

How on earth the crap journalist finds work writing must be some kind of witchcraft. But then again, they are in the business of keeping people dumb, and dumb people are oxygen to the crap journalist.

That single brain cell is powered up by dumb things and celebrity appearances. Without that, the crap journalist would be a vegetable which wouldn't offer much nourishment.

Then there is the appalling and hateful bile the crap journalist publishes which contributes to a more toxic society.

The crap journalist fails to see people as people, but loves to scapegoat people and reduce them to a sub-human level, like the Nazis did. In fact, the crap journalist would have been at home writing for Goebbels' propaganda machine.

I've lost count of the number of times I've read utter bollocks online thanks to the stupidity of the crap journalist.

It's almost like the crap journalist wants to be shot in the head with a double barrel shotgun so they can be put out of their miserable existence.

Let's be honest, any claims that the crap journalist is giving people what they want to read is spurious. They are a menace to the IQ of anyone who reads their steaming pile of crap.

Don't get me wrong, everyone has the right to their opinions, but the place of crap journalism is in the incinerator.

Get out of our media, one-cell brain.