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Video: "My name is Penis Head" — meet Britain's sweariest driver

Motorist caught on camera delivering torrent of abuse after roundabout incident

Sometimes helmetcam riders get talking to drivers who’ve done stupid things and the conversation goes no further than a simple apology, albeit often followed by “mate, I didn’t see you”. But sometimes, despite being clearly in the wrong, a driver will go right off the deep end anyway, like the chap here who we’re going to call Mr Penis Head, since he says that’s his name.

It’s one of the few repeatable things he does say and you’ll want to turn down the volume if your workmates have tender ears.

In the video, the rider who goes by the YouTube handle Urbane is crossing a roundabout at what appears to be the end of Harbourne Gardens in Southampton.

As the rider approaches the first exit from the roundabout, Mr Penis Head, driving a Jaguar with stickers and logos enters the roundabout. The rider sounds his horn and after the driver stops and reverses into the roundabout a full and frank exchange of views follows, with Mr Penis Head delivering most of the frankness.

In his comments on YouTube, Urbane says: “I thought I was pretty diplomatic, considering the circumstances” and we tend to agree. Here’s how it went down in his own words:

Parental Advisory... Excessive swearing, aggressive behavior and stupid driving.

This rabid loon is called, by his own admission, Penishead Cockfacedcunt ;-0 although it said Mark on his sticker.

He is probably an inspirational figurehead and a fine representative for PowerSlideRides (logos and his name conveniently plastered all over his XJS), but I fear he may have had a tad too much high octane go-go juice in his veins, when he nearly ran me over this morning. Perhaps he had been drinking diesel instead of petrol that morning.

I hit my horn, as a warning, before the car is even on the roundabout, and (despite what he says) you can see that I am easily half way across before the car rips past, narrowly missing me on my bike.

He screeched to a halt and reversed round the roundabout (!) to confront me for having the temerity to honk my horn at him. But he soon scuttled back into his vehicle when I was not intimidated by his shiny piston shaped head and aggressive swearing.

I thought I was pretty diplomatic, considering the circumstances, if he had just said sorry everything would have been quickly forgotten. But now, I'm going to let the viewers decide...

Who do you think is being aggressive?  3

While Mr Penis Head doesn't manage the sheer delivery speed and quantity of expletives of the previous holder of the title of Britain's Sweariest Driver, we think he makes up for it with a wider range of creative abuse. Coincidentally, or perhaps not if you believe that the car you drive says something about your personality - both of the potty mouthed protaganists drive Jags.

We should point out that although the car in this video clearly displays the name, phone numbers and website of a business that doesn't necessarily mean that the driver is associated with those phone numbers - and as the business in question has so far proved uncontactable the true identity of the driver cannot be verified - except that he goes by the name of Penis Head. 

John has been writing about bikes and cycling for over 30 years since discovering that people were mug enough to pay him for it rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work.

He was heavily involved in the mountain bike boom of the late 1980s as a racer, team manager and race promoter, and that led to writing for Mountain Biking UK magazine shortly after its inception. He got the gig by phoning up the editor and telling him the magazine was rubbish and he could do better. Rather than telling him to get lost, MBUK editor Tym Manley called John’s bluff and the rest is history.

Since then he has worked on MTB Pro magazine and was editor of Maximum Mountain Bike and Australian Mountain Bike magazines, before switching to the web in 2000 to work for CyclingNews.com. Along with road.cc founder Tony Farrelly, John was on the launch team for BikeRadar.com and subsequently became editor in chief of Future Publishing’s group of cycling magazines and websites, including Cycling Plus, MBUK, What Mountain Bike and Procycling.

John has also written for Cyclist magazine, edited the BikeMagic website and was founding editor of TotalWomensCycling.com before handing over to someone far more representative of the site's main audience.

He joined road.cc in 2013. He lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.

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192 comments

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themartincox | 10 years ago
1 like

With a car like that, he must be endowed like a frickin donkey!

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jorysmith | 10 years ago
0 likes

wow his mobile number is on his site

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anarchy replied to jorysmith | 10 years ago
0 likes
jorysmith wrote:

wow his mobile number is on his site

so it is! 07788 293198 Wonder if he's turned it off yet? I haven't rung it, and I wouldn't recommend that you spam it starting at 4am

Cyclist had right of way, and entirely appropriate to sound your horn to warn other road users of your presence, with car drivers like that about. If the bike had been about a second earlier, he'd have been hit by Mr CockHead, who clearly didn't look/care

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shearer27 | 10 years ago
0 likes
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JackBuxton | 10 years ago
0 likes

You have a horn on your bike?

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bikebot replied to JackBuxton | 10 years ago
0 likes
JackBuxton wrote:

You have a horn on your bike?

"Airzound"

Also one of the few Youtube videos where it is used correctly, to warn a driver of the riders presence before an incident, rather than to rebuke afterwards.

I have one as well when I'm riding to commute, and have it precisely for roundabouts and certain junctions where you sometimes have to be heard if you haven't been seen.

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David Portland | 10 years ago
0 likes

I reckon if you're going to start having a go at folk like that, you probably want to not have a URL in massive letters down the side of your car that leads to a name and address in about four clicks. Just saying.

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hanuman | 10 years ago
0 likes

Would it be this Mark by any chance?

http://www.marksdreamshack.com/

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jmaccelari | 10 years ago
0 likes

I get this quite often. Mostly, the drivers stare straight ahead, pretending not to have seen me, so as to provide an explanation as to why they did not bother to slow down. When one did stop, she told me to 'Shutup!' and drove off...

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Angelfishsolo | 10 years ago
0 likes

I just love the way Penis Head gets back in the car as soon as he realises the cyclist is not scared of him. Typical coward.

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mlimburn | 10 years ago
0 likes

Strange almost the exact same think happened to me this morning. It seems some drivers look at a cyclist on a roundabout and doesn't give 2 hoots to them or their safety!

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bikebot | 10 years ago
0 likes

Should this go to court, I think the most appropriate punishment would be that he be required to permanently change his name by deed poll to that given in the video.

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