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news
Jeremy Clarkson on BBC The One ShowJeremy Clarkson tells his readers to get on their bikes... but not to bother with a helmet
Jeremy Clarkson has urged readers of his column in The Sunday Times to take to two wheels – and has confessed he has bought a bike himself which he says he uses “for short distances of up to 100 metres in London.” He also reveals himself to be firmly anti-cycle helmet.
The column appears to mark a further thawing of the Top Gear presenter and petrolhead-in-chief’s typically frosty relationship with cyclists – last year, he said he’d move to Copenhagen “in a heartbeat” after discovering how pleasant a city could be where the bicycle, not the motor car, was the preferred choice of transport for everyday trips.
True to his trademark style, there are plenty of digs at those of us who choose pedal power as a regular form of transport – the headline, Bums on saddles, folks – let’s rout the pushbike Bolsheviks sets out the article’s premise, that current cyclists are a militant bunch and the only way to counter that is to introduce more moderate types to their ranks.
If there’s an analogy with the creation of New Labour that saw the party move away from solid left-wing policies and led to its election victory in 1997, it’s one Clarkson fails to appreciate, or chooses not to deploy.
“Cycling used to be how you got about if you were poor,” he maintains. “Then it became a pastime for children. Now though, it has evolved into something more. It’s gone beyond a way of life and become a political statement. A movement.
Clarkson takes issue with cycling shorts, which look “stupid,” cycle helmets which he asserts offer minimal protection and cyclists (all, apparently, vegetarian) using GoPro cameras “so that the shortcomings of van-driving painters and decorators can be uploaded to YouTube.”
On helmets, Clarkson says: “If you actually wanted to protect your head, you would wear the sort of thing that motorcyclists use, and if you wanted all-round visibility you would go to the people who supply the British Army. But instead cyclists choose to wear five hardened bananas on their bonce. It’s the 21st-century equivalent of the British Leyland donkey jacket.
He continues: “As far as they [cyclists] are concerned the roads are theirs by right. And the pavements. They do not ride through red lights to make their journey quicker; they do it to show the Tories that they will not be enslaved by convention. It’s political.
“And now they are demanding that their ecological, high-visibility, fair-trade, non-nuclear, meat-free lifestyle be accommodated into the mainstream, with junctions designed to put the bicycle first. They want the car and the van banished. Today the Embankment. Tomorrow the Bank of England.”
So far, so vintage Clarkson, as the column heads towards its conclusion. But then there’s an unexpected departure from the longtime bête noire of the cycling community.
“There’s only one way they can be defeated. And that’s for normal people to start riding bicycles,” he says.
We’ll skip over the fact that millions of normal (and, if we’re going to be totally honest, no-so-normal) people already do just that.
But it’s worth making the point that intentional or not, in eschewing helmets and cycle-specific clothing and promoting cycling to “normal” people, Clarkson seems to be aligning himself with the Copenhagenize school of cycling advocacy.
“We need to swell their ranks with moderates, people who ride a bike because they’ve had a drink and because taxis are too expensive,” Clarkson goes on.
“Ordinary people who ride in jeans and T-shirts and with no stupid helmet.
“People who will walk into a restaurant with a sign on the door saying, ‘Cyclists welcome’ and ask for meat, with extra meat.
“I’ve started the ball rolling by buying a bike,” he admits. “And when I ride it I have a sign on the back of my jacket that says, ‘Motorists. Thank you for letting me use your roads.”
If Jeremy’s reading this, we’d strongly recommend an educational virtual visit to Carlton Reid’s websites, I Pay Road Tax and Roads Were Not Built For Cars – ed.
Simon joined road.cc as news editor in 2009 and is now the site’s community editor, acting as a link between the team producing the content and our readers. A law and languages graduate, published translator and former retail analyst, he has reported on issues as diverse as cycling-related court cases, anti-doping investigations, the latest developments in the bike industry and the sport’s biggest races. Now back in London full-time after 15 years living in Oxford and Cambridge, he loves cycling along the Thames but misses having his former riding buddy, Elodie the miniature schnauzer, in the basket in front of him.
Latest Comments
- Simon E 2 sec ago
Oh dear. A single bike in a single size in one shop is not indicative of the entire UK market for bicycles. And the slump isn't just bikes, it's...
- hawkinspeter 2 hours 52 min ago
Ridiculed or is it just jealousy?
- belugabob 3 hours 3 min ago
I had to double-take the headline... https://www.kentonline.co.uk/sandwich/news/takeaway-driver-19-who-left-e...
- Rendel Harris 3 hours 18 min ago
Thank goodness for that. I don't suppose anyone would want you to. You certainly behave like one though.
- Eton Rifle 3 hours 26 min ago
You do see some utterly ridiculous examples of car use....
- Eton Rifle 3 hours 48 min ago
Exactly. Every road death is a tragedy but this is at the "twat deserved it" end of the spectrum, looking at the state of that car.
- Rendel Harris 3 hours 55 min ago
I'm not the editor of this article, nor indeed of anything on this website. One would have thought that didn't require explaining.
- Eton Rifle 3 hours 56 min ago
I think the answer is in your question. I genuinely didn't know he was married to her. It does kinda explain it. Disappointing, nevertheless.
- Daclu Trelub 8 hours 41 min ago
In a perfect world, we'd have a measure of how easily distracted someone is, as part of their driving test....
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46 comments
This is making mountains out of the hills around the Mole valley.
Cycling while drunk may be illegal, but it is not illegal to cycle whilst over the driver's limit as those laws do not apply to cyclists. One argument that worked in court was that the cyclist could not have been drunk as it is impossible to ride a bike when drunk.
Case dismissed.
True! I once had to shell out £25 for a taxi (30 years ago, £25 was a lot of money to a student then!) after stopping for a 'quick one' at the Wolverhampton SU beer festival before riding back to Brum. A 'quick one' turned into a not so quick 8 or 9. It made the bike wheels go a funny shape!
Here's my mate Colin nodding his head in agreement. While giggling uncontrollably. Good night out, mind
Pissed Colin.jpg
The problem with Clarkson is his comedy. If you agree with him then you are the butt of his jokes. His comedy persona is of someone with selfish and reactionary views for gets everything wrong and has everything go wrong for him. So his 'Clarkson for PM' followers are actually his comedy subject matter. If you're offended by his views then you've also missed the joke because his intention is to make his offensive views ridiculous.
Sadly if you get that its a joke that gets boring pretty quickly because its his only joke and he's been telling it for a quarter of a century. So the people who get him aren't listening.
But he does make a good point here, and he does make a valid point now and again amongst all the gooning. We - keen, nerdy, forum-dwelling, n+1, spoke-sniffing enthusiasts are cyclings worst enemy - if the goal is that cycling is something that more people should do. We make cycling look difficult, expert and complex and expensive. We won't encourage a driver to get out of their car and onto a bike because we make cycling look like something that they can't do.
We're deeply uncool. Commuting on a cross bike, getting sweaty, wearing special clothes. We're ridiculous. We're having enormous fun but we don't do any good. Someone on a supermarket bike, cycling in their civvys, just going somewhere and not thinking about their bike or how the ride it - thats cool. They are the game changers, they make more difference individually than all of us put together.
Agree. Mr. Clarkson is not mad, but provocative and in this a bit one dimensional.
The point is getting cycling Holland/Danish style, cycling to be socially accepted.
Somewhat like Warren Mitchell's Alf Garnett? Many of his "followers" never realised he was lampooning them either.
Enormously Well Said. You've just nailed every point I try and make when a non cyclist talks to me about why I ride (I'm a driver too). People HATE being told what to do. Even trying to make it "cool" is futile really. People will only be drawn in when it makes sense for them and their lives.
...then it will dawn on them that they love it and they'll become spoke-sniffers too.
(And who would have thought that such clarity of perspective might have been prompted by our old chum Clarkson?)
I am only a communist when it suits me
and only partially vegetarian... I love a nice bit of salad with my steak 
Legal disclaimer:
The following lines may or may not contain irony, may or may not relate to a circular theater and his related author Shakespeare.
"How dare that tall foolish one call me a Bolsheviki?
Me, having traveled the majestic metro of Moscow rather than this smallish tube! ( http://innercitymobility.blogspot.de/2013/01/made-in-europa-greetings-fr... )
No other way than to meet up at next critical mass by the final day of May to decide, who shall rule the streets of London! No pardon shall be given!" 
I shall therefor demand satisfaction in race of life or death, ours in one corner, his in the other!
Please note: UCI rules may not be applied. Testing will be performed according to WADA
standarts!
As a Bolshevik-vegetarian I'm inclined to agree with Clarkson (now there's something I thought I'd never say). It has been long recognised that the way to improve cycling conditions for all of us is to normalise it. If a trouser like Clarkson can promote cycling the message will reach an audience that most cycling advocates cannot.
Revolutionary commie? Moi?
Che Guevara would have known what to do;
"Many will call me an adventurer - and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes"
I take issue...
Drunk cycling is illegal.
Motorcycle helemts are designed for impacts at speed and can cause unecessary damage if worn (and put into use) for the wrong pursuit. They are also hot, heavy and limit vision.
Motorists STILL don't own the roads.
...and here I am still doing what I promised never to do - responding to Jeremy Clarkson's pretended idiocy which he only uses to keep himself making money and in the mix.
And from the same paper that brought us the award winning cycle safety campaign.
Wow......I think I agree with something Jeremy Clarkson has said.....what the hell is happening?
I actually like what he's saying here. Love the hardened banana's and its TRUE.
There are FAR too many "HERO's" with camera's that upload the slightest movement from a car that they consider wrong....does my box in.
I do like a few of them, CyclingMikey and Gaz, but just looking at Gaz's site, it lists 390 in the UK http://www.croydoncyclist.co.uk/video-camera-cyclists/
I agree having a camera is good and gives you some sort of protection if you are involved in an accident. But some of the uploaders LOOK for trouble.
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