"It was cringeworthy how Mark Cavendish sold his own farewell," claims columnist who believes Manx Missile's exit from pro cycling was "toe-curling" and "like Elvis's last tour through shady casinos in Las Vegas" + more on the live blog

Strap yourselves in... 

A columnist for the Dutch daily newspaper AD, has penned a piece bemoaning the fact Mark Cavendish's final race in pro cycling came at the questionably competitive, but extremely lucrative for those involved, Tour de France Singapore Criterium.

Across the world's media, and even in some cycling-specific media, the event was often portrayed as a competitive race that was won by Cavendish. Just as a reminder, this is the flat crit that Jonas Vingegaard 'won' ahead of Chris Froome and Vincenzo Nibali two years ago.

With that said, 99 per cent of cycling fans don't actually have any issue with the riders cashing in and entertaining the fans. After all, it's the off-season and it's not like they'd be doing anything other than sitting at home with their feet up anyway, so the whole spectacle is pretty harmless, right? 

Well, Dutch journalist Thijs Zonneveld has a different view. He called it (according to Google Translate) "cringeworthy how Mark Cavendish sold his own farewell" and opted for the Singapore Criterium his final race. As I said at the start, strap yourself in for this one... 

Zonneveld began by saying everyone watching Cav's final race was left with tears in their eyes... "from laughing" and said "no matter how hard he (along with a handful of fellow sprinters) tried to make it look epic and iconic and historic: it didn't work".

> "Philipsen has to work so hard not to win, it's a thing of beauty": Cycling fans react to Mark Cavendish's emotional 'win' at 'last race', as Manx Missile 'outsprints' everyone at the Tour de France Singapore Criterium

"Even in the interview after the race, in which he tried to sound emotional, you got the feeling that you were watching hastily thrown together amateur theatre," the columnist wrote.

"Mark Cavendish could have ended his career in so many ways [...] But instead he sold his own farewell. Cashing in one last time in a fake race on the other side of the world, like Elvis who took one last tour through shady casinos in Las Vegas before his body gave out. Ugly, that's what it is. Toe-curling.

"But it also suits Cavendish in a way. He has so many faces. That of a multiple winner and a star, but also that of a kamikaze. One day he's cursing you, the next he's your best friend. He can tear through the peloton like a wrecking ball, but he can also sing a children's song with tears in his eyes or talk about his depression. Twenty years as a pro, 165 victories, endless stories. With one common thread. It chafed. Until the very very end."

I'd actually pay incredibly good money to see one of those 'celebrity reacts to mean things someone on the internet said about them' videos. Now THAT would be worth watching. Anyway, I'm not sure Cavendish will (or should) be losing any sleep over this one...

I think we'll end this by leaving this here...

News from Rouleur Live to finish the day... where Pinarello and Zwift have joined forces to unveil a limited-edition Dogma F to "allow Zwifters to take Watopia on their outdoor adventures". The Watopia-inspired colourway will be available on 50 of the Italian bike brand's flagship framesets.

"Blending the meticulous craftsmanship of the Dogma F with the number one fully immersive indoor cycling app, this collaboration marks the next step for cyclists looking to merge the two worlds of indoor and outdoor cycling," Pinarello tells us.

It's bringing the "striking frameset" which had been available in-game to the real world... if you've got a spare £5,500 knocking around. It's on display at Rouleur Live today and will be "a special collector's item for Pinarello and Zwift fans worldwide".

Comments time... 

chrisonabike is concerned by our promoting of a potentially dangerous practice. No, not what happens when the grass-filled tyre inevitably comes off and that carbon wheel decides it doesn't like what you've put it through. 

"That all sounds fine until you realise that this may attract the unwanted attention of another moode of transport (which kills tens every year) — cows."

Owd Big 'Ead has pulled it off successfully (the grass hack, not hailing herds of cattle with your flat-fixing): "Used grass before, to get me out of the shit, during my messenger days, many moons ago."

Smoggysteve: "I saw a demo of the grass in tyre truck and was surprised how effective it was. You do have to cut your innertube in half and if the puncture is near the valve you're screwed. But it just involves cutting the tube. Tying both ends up with a knot then pumping it up on the rim and the grass fills the gap in the tyre. It's messy but rather that than waking home... or just tubeless and it's not an issue."

I've got a video idea to pitch to Jamie, back in a sec...

Shout out to Steve K for doing the job I should have done. He found this in the road.cc archives, '12 of the best emergency bike fixes — get going again with these smart bodges'. In there we heard from a rider who mentions the old tie the tube in a knot method, as well as Andy Fraser's... "I once stuffed my mtb tyres with grass to get me home" method. Nice.

Rendel Harris: "Never tried it myself as I am what you might call a puncture paranoid, usually like to carry at least five tubes between two of us as well as patches, but the grass method in an emergency was often talked of by touring and adventure cyclists way back when I were a lad, definitely a thing."

Elsewhere in the comments there's a bit of discussion about the great sock debate...

lesterama: "Belgians wear their socks over their bib tights. Everyone else has socks underneath. When in Flanders, do as the Flandriens do."

Oh, brooksby is wondering if Comic Relief will be paying for Paddy McGuinness "to get new knees" after his Chopper epic? I can see the tabloid headlines already: 'Selfish Lycra-clad cyclist steals charity money for knee operation'...

> Government "prioritising active travel over safety", claims councillor – who says new bike lane was so wide "I thought it was a dual carriageway they were building!"

Paddy McGuinness is in Scotland for day four of his 300-mile Wrexham to Glasgow charity ride for Children in Need. Oh, he's doing it on a Raleigh Chopper, if you hadn't heard. 

Despite being "completely broken, dejected and finished" McGuinness made it over the big hills on yesterday's route and was pictured sat by the roadside having reached the 420m summit of Shap Fell. He made it into Scotland too, which is where day four has begun, the planned route from Ecclefechan to Dumfriesshire through to Lanarkshire.

"The sun's just come out in Scotland which is amazing because it’s been absolutely freezing this morning," he told the BBC earlier. "Warming up a little bit now but I’ve never felt as cold as this morning like my toes and my fingers are freezing so I’m really looking forward to a hot cup of tea.

"After doing Shap yesterday it's my quads today. They are so tight, and my fingertips and my toes today, I've never felt them as cold, no matter what I'm doing, you know? I'm trying to wiggle my hands, put on toe warmers, you know, it's just absolutely freezing. And my backside, my noisy neighbours are still there... but I'm just ignoring them for now."

I've been distracted thinking about this ever since it popped up on Facebook this morning. Shared originally by Bike Life, it appears to show an unfortunate puncture sufferer stuffing his tyre with roadside grass in a desperate attempt to get some firmness back in there.

Despite the crowded group ride stood around watching, nobody seems to offer a spare tube which has me slightly dubious this might all be for the internet clicks, call me cynical... or maybe they're all so confident in their tubeless/have lovely dry roads/a wonderful significant other who'll pick them up from wherever, so they never bring spares?

Unfortunately, or fortunately for those very fancy wheels, there's no follow-up footage of the 'grass tube' in use... just how much grass would you have to get in there to get yourself home?

The jury was out in the comments, some reckoning you could just about limp a short distance, others already feeling the pain the man's carbon wheels would go through to get there...

"That's a good fix till you get home. Does the ride feels different or not?"

"Fine until your tyre comes off and you destroy your $2,000 wheelset"

"Or just carry a spare tube"

"No vegan jokes here. This is a great idea. It does work."

I think we'll leave it to others to try first, although I'm in no position to preach about puncture repair after last Saturday's flat, change tube, flat, change tube, flat, catch a lift home with South Western Railway debacle.

You'd have thought after the first lazy check for offending tube-puncturing item, and subsequent second flat not long after, I'd be a bit more thorough on the second tube... nope... I can tell you now, it feels really silly to find that tiny sharp stone lodged in a tyre cut only once you're back at home and another tube down... painful.