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Tour de Celeb: Eight go mad on bicycles and fall off a lot — but is it all fun and games, or just too contrived for words?

Reality TV meets cycling

Get together eight minor celebrities and train them to ride the 2016 Etape du Tour, in just two months. On the one hand Channel 5's Tour de Celeb sounds like yet another deeply contrived reality TV show, but on the other it's a show dedicated to cycling, on prime time TV, and it's not about pro racing. It shows just how far cycling has come from the days when the only time you saw anyone riding bike on TV was the Tour de France highlights or Kevin Keegan crashing on Superstars.

Last night's first instalment of Tour De Celeb featured Louie Spence throwing a massive strop when he went off track in a sportive; Lucy Mecklenburgh putting a big hole in her knee after falling while riding in traffic; Angelica Bell getting understandably freaked out by her first time on clipless pedals and Austin Healey confessing to being a sad bike nerd. None of us know what that's like at all. Ahem.

It's all quite good fun, played for reality TV drama, of course, and introduced with the predictable Dramatic Voice Over About The Huge Challenge The Celbrities Face. There was a disproportionate amount of death and danger though. Simon Warren hit the nail on the head:

Still, if you can remember what being a beginner cyclist was like, you have to feel sorry for the way the inexperienced riders were thrown in the deep end for a bit of drama. You'd think the world of reality TV would have learned something from 'The Jump'.

The obligatory team-building nonsense took out another of our celebs as Jodie Kidd, who seemed to be genuinely looking forward to getting to grips with riding bike, injured herself falling into shallow water. That segment was lightened by Louie Spence rolling around in the mud, but I could have done without watching Kidd hobble painfully off into the sidelines.

For the most part Tour De Celeb managed to make riding bike look like something you might actually do for fun, and the celebs who had some sort of sporty background seemed to be enjoying themselves tremendously. Let's hope over the next few weeks the less experienced riders get a chance to pick up some skills.

If you missed the first episode you can watch it at my5.com.

John has been writing about bikes and cycling for over 30 years since discovering that people were mug enough to pay him for it rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work.

He was heavily involved in the mountain bike boom of the late 1980s as a racer, team manager and race promoter, and that led to writing for Mountain Biking UK magazine shortly after its inception. He got the gig by phoning up the editor and telling him the magazine was rubbish and he could do better. Rather than telling him to get lost, MBUK editor Tym Manley called John’s bluff and the rest is history.

Since then he has worked on MTB Pro magazine and was editor of Maximum Mountain Bike and Australian Mountain Bike magazines, before switching to the web in 2000 to work for CyclingNews.com. Along with road.cc founder Tony Farrelly, John was on the launch team for BikeRadar.com and subsequently became editor in chief of Future Publishing’s group of cycling magazines and websites, including Cycling Plus, MBUK, What Mountain Bike and Procycling.

John has also written for Cyclist magazine, edited the BikeMagic website and was founding editor of TotalWomensCycling.com before handing over to someone far more representative of the site's main audience.

He joined road.cc in 2013. He lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.

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47 comments

Avatar
gb901 | 7 years ago
0 likes

Yawn - yet another "celebrity" driven show. Seeing members of the public given the opportunity would be both more enlightening and rewarding.

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Mattleng1 | 7 years ago
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​joules1975 wrote:

 

Think you need to move on from the last decade. Channel 5 has matured quite a bit, and amongst other half decent content actually has some interesting documentaries (Lives in the Wild isn't bad for example).

This could just have easily have been a show on ITV.

I didn't realise Channel 5's Head of PR visited road.cc

I can't work out if you are kidding or serious?

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Jitensha Oni | 7 years ago
0 likes

Less-than-ideal kit should not put you off. I went up the Galibier on flats and flat bars  Quite slowly, of course, though I overtook at least a couple of mafls - middle aged frenchmen in lycra - man, were they pissed off - but I guess the point is, you go up at the pace that suits you, as long as you do it.  For me that's what counts here. YMMV. I went up the Stelvio on a "better" bike much faster, but not necessrily with the same sense of achievement.  C'mon Louie!!!

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Stumps | 7 years ago
1 like

Velomark - I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment - "lesser known people from the junk my wife watches".

My point exactly, so why not give the youth of today the chance to do something like this rather than has beens and never beens.

I, for one, would watch that rather than this dross.

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Velomark | 7 years ago
1 like

It seems ridiculous to complain about the celebrities not being celebrities or the fact that the show featured celebrities at all rather than a different group of people, a bit like complaining that there was adverts ; its what makes tv like this possible.

I have to admit I may be aware of some of these lesser known people from the junk my wife watches but there is some entertainment value in there being on the show and its not purely shallow either - Is not often you see people surpass your expectations and preconceptions . The idea of seeing Lucy tackle some killer climbs is a bit like watching my parents excel in SAS!

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FatBoyW | 7 years ago
0 likes

As for what Sarah or Rob know about training newbs? 

Pretty sure they know a lot, it could just be that they are so far up the scale of hardness they don't recognise the fear? Dame S rides with one hand controlling the brakes, in the pro peloton. The arrangement to do so looks a bit Heath Robinson and whilst it clearly works I have to take my hat off to her - wow. 

Having had the privilege of riding with her she seemed to be a good coach but I just can't get my head around how hard these pros are.

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FatBoyW | 7 years ago
0 likes

Don't write off Jodie just yet, she appears in shots clearly taken later in the show. I saw a few of these people at the etape. 

The funniest comment was that they had to do 25 hours training a week - wow if I did that I'd either be dead or flying.

It was better than I expected other than all the falling off 

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Stumps | 7 years ago
1 like

I dont like and never really watch any celeb type programmes it really narks me seeing them getting this that and the other when they can all probably comfortably afford it already.

Why not make a program which gives ordinary kids the chance to do something like this instead of the same old same old.

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davel replied to Stumps | 7 years ago
4 likes

Stumps wrote:

I dont like and never really watch any celeb type programmes it really narks me seeing them getting this that and the other when they can all probably comfortably afford it already.

Why not make a program which gives ordinary kids the chance to do something like this instead of the same old same old.

They tried that in the 70s and 80s, and called it Jim'll Fix It.

It didn't end well.

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bendertherobot | 7 years ago
3 likes

And, celebrity status or not, a prime time TV programme had people doing cycling on it. 

I love cycling.

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Rapha Nadal | 7 years ago
1 like

I expected to hate this but did actually enjoy it!  Although Louie Spence got on my wick after a while.

I wonder if they didn't get any clipless pedal "training" on account of falling off your bike makes for better TV?  Would also liked to have know the final FTP figures.

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davel replied to Rapha Nadal | 7 years ago
0 likes
Rapha Nadal wrote:

I expected to hate this but did actually enjoy it!  Although Louie Spence got on my wick after a while.

I wonder if they didn't get any clipless pedal "training" on account of falling off your bike makes for better TV?  Would also liked to have know the final FTP figures.

Yep, but probably more likely they all got boatloads of clipless training that we didn't see, and Angelica was just not getting the hang of it by the time they actually went outside.

Was surprisingly watchable. Fair play to all of them.

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SRRC | 7 years ago
2 likes

Don't underestimate Jodie Kidd, she's tough and determined. She came down here to learn to kitesurf (now that will seriously spank you when it goes wrong) and did well.

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StraelGuy | 7 years ago
4 likes

I must agree Colin. I'm a none telly watching 44 year old and one of the things I really enjoy about getting older is how I have increasingly no idea who most of these eejits actually are.

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ConcordeCX replied to StraelGuy | 7 years ago
3 likes

guyrwood wrote:

I must agree Colin. I'm a none telly watching 44 year old and one of the things I really enjoy about getting older is how I have increasingly no idea who most of these eejits actually are.

i believe they are a popular beat combo, M'lud.

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Colin Peyresourde | 7 years ago
1 like

I watched this for 5 minutes before being infuriated at it. I should start by saying I abhor the celebrity culture. All these 'celebs' will have been paid to ride a bike and provided with expensive equipment, all so that we can laud them for their later achievement, all under the watchful eye of trained professionals. Effectively they are provided the idyll of most roadies on a gold lined plate. They may well complete the task, but I'm totally uninterested in how they do it.

As to the above idea that you need to learn on double sided clipless SPDs: totally unnecessary. Sure it gives more comfort, but the only difference to proper clipless is having to flip the pedal - clipping in and out are effectively the same. Taught my wife to use single sided and she never looked back.

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rjfrussell replied to Colin Peyresourde | 7 years ago
2 likes

Colin Peyresourde wrote:

As to the above idea that you need to learn on double sided clipless SPDs: totally unnecessary. Sure it gives more comfort, but the only difference to proper clipless is having to flip the pedal - clipping in and out are effectively the same. Taught my wife to use single sided and she never looked back.

 

That's an invitation to a comment flame war if ever I saw one!  In what sense are SPDs not "proper clipless"!!??

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Yorkshire wallet replied to rjfrussell | 7 years ago
0 likes

rjfrussell wrote:

Colin Peyresourde wrote:

As to the above idea that you need to learn on double sided clipless SPDs: totally unnecessary. Sure it gives more comfort, but the only difference to proper clipless is having to flip the pedal - clipping in and out are effectively the same. Taught my wife to use single sided and she never looked back.

 

That's an invitation to a comment flame war if ever I saw one!  In what sense are SPDs not "proper clipless"!!??

Pedals are pedals IMO, they all transfer the power in the downstroke. Someone on the show said some nonsense about needing clipless to get up hills. 20%+ on flats says otherwise. They should have left that lass that couldn't even ride in straight line on flats for a bit. Clearly it was more dramatic if she fell off.

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Judge dreadful replied to Yorkshire wallet | 7 years ago
1 like

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

Someone on the show said some nonsense about needing clipless to get up hills. 

 

Dame Sarah Storey.

 

yeah, what would she know about cycling?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Storey

 

 

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dottigirl replied to Judge dreadful | 7 years ago
1 like

Judge dreadful wrote:

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

Someone on the show said some nonsense about needing clipless to get up hills. 

Dame Sarah Storey.

yeah, what would she know about cycling?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Storey

What does Storey know about teaching total newbies basic skills to ride a bike? Not much, it appears. Hayles neither. For the simple reason that they aren't qualified cycling coaches.

I'm assuming the editing cut out much of the training they were giving, but I didn't find Hayles' explanation of how to stop very easy to follow. They would have been better sticking them on a turbo and getting them to clip in and out, ad infinitum. 

I've said elsewhere, IME elite cyclists/coaches often don't know how to break skills down to teach them to newbies, and have forgotten how they learnt themselves. It's easier to trot out what they think they know. Which is sometimes wrong or misleading, as evidenced by GCN.

https://youtu.be/CNedIJBZpgM

I rode for months in trainers with flat pedals before I started clipping in. I acclimatised to the different braking, gear changes, and knowing how/when to dismount etc BEFORE I got cleats.

When I started clipping in, do you know what the main difference was? I felt safer descending as my feet weren't bouncing off the pedals. I didn't feel any difference in power, certainly not for climbing. Yes, there can be an aspect of pulling up, but that's not likely to make any difference at their level.

It made me quite angry to watch cycling being portrayed as dangerous, just because they had forced them to clip in. I cheered when I saw Bell in the trainers, although it would have been easier for her with flat pedals, which probably would have improved her performance.

 

I also have concerns about the bike fits, especially of the shorter women. The stems don't look terribly long. When I see this, coupled with narrow, short-reach bars that women often have, I know the steering is going to be twitchy as hell. That's not going to help a nervous newbie either. And taller women and men don't often experience this - it's not something many are aware of. The amount of times I've heard 'fit a shorter stem' when a woman has already been shoehorned onto a frame which is too big for her? Too many to list.

(Did anyone else spot all the spacers above Bell's stem? That also puts her in a more aggressive position. Why?)

Btw, most of the bikes appear to be Condor Baracchis. 'Endurance-race' geometry. Hmmm.

Avatar
davel replied to dottigirl | 7 years ago
0 likes

dottigirl wrote:

I'm assuming the editing cut out much of the training they were giving, but I didn't find Hayles' explanation of how to stop very easy to follow. They would have been better sticking them on a turbo and getting them to clip in and out, ad infinitum. 

I'm assuming this did all happen, but for some bizarre reason the makers of a TV programme decided that more people would rather watch a minor celeb fall off a bike, rather than hours of minor celebs slowly mastering 'toe down. heel out' on stationary bikes.

I'm not knocking what they did manage to do, but Louie Dancebloke, Lucy Essex and Hugo Chelsea did not just get on bikes on tarmac and naturally find they could clip into (and more crucially, unclip from) Garmin Vectors.

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Russell Orgazoid | 7 years ago
1 like

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

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stomec replied to Russell Orgazoid | 7 years ago
4 likes

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

Avatar
Russell Orgazoid replied to stomec | 7 years ago
0 likes

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Avatar
The Gavalier replied to Russell Orgazoid | 7 years ago
1 like

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Sorry but there's no need for that on here. 

Avatar
Russell Orgazoid replied to The Gavalier | 7 years ago
0 likes

The Gavalier wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Sorry but there's no need for that on here. 

No need to apologise.

Avatar
stomec replied to Russell Orgazoid | 7 years ago
1 like

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Oh poor diddums!  Are the big boys picking on little Plasterer?  If you want to be treated like a grown up, don't make infantile remarks.

But fair enough - engaging in a battle of wits with someone who is so clearly unarmed isn't sporting.

Avatar
Russell Orgazoid replied to stomec | 7 years ago
0 likes

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Oh poor diddums!  Are the big boys picking on little Plasterer?  If you want to be treated like a grown up, don't make infantile remarks.

But fair enough - engaging in a battle of wits with someone who is so clearly unarmed isn't sporting.

Avatar
Russell Orgazoid replied to stomec | 7 years ago
0 likes

stomec]</p>

<p>[quote=Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wrote:

Plasterer's Radio wrote:

stomec wants to blow his beans all over Louis Spence's face!

Mummy let you back on the computer again?

You bite each and every time. Feel free to prove my point.

Same gag repeated 3 times now.....yawn.....

Oh poor diddums!  Are the big boys picking on little Plasterer?  If you want to be treated like a grown up, don't make infantile remarks.

But fair enough - engaging in a battle of wits with someone who is so clearly unarmed isn't sporting.

[/quote

Keep trying, Mr. PC....perhaps if you didn't call someone you will never meet a tosser over social media, they wouldn't think you a weak keyboard ninja.

Go on..react....keep proving my point, drama queen..X

Avatar
j@n | 7 years ago
1 like

I actually quite enjoyed it. Kinda highlights the main problem with cycling in this country as well, with Lucy and her incidents with road traffic. People are just too scared to cycle on our roads, to take up cycling. Which needs to be fixed if we're ever going to see general/commuting cycling as the norm, in this country.

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