Be Realistic Ask the Impossible: Motivational Creaking

 Arg.

Time is flashing by again and it's amazing how just a few days can make or destroy a sense of control or progress... Today it feels a bit like I'm on a runaway freight train with work and personal commitments overtaking training a bit over the last week.  It's late Thursday and I realise that my turbo-ing has been near-nil for near 2 weeks as my commute has gone up significantly as I'm working off-site... meaning that combined with what is alread a pretty physical job, I'm just too knackered when I get home later and hungrier than usual.  

Internal dialogue has been petulant verging on truculant as I have tried to coax myself over to it but alas, my negotiating skills have failed the me with the 'good intentions me' and the 'tired, hungry me' in firm opposition:  tired hungry me has so far adopted black cab tactics and taken to driving down the middle of the road honking his horn before swerving in front of my good intentions and drowning them with gravel and spewing exhaust fumes. Despite aspiring to the moral high ground and victory through clean living and setting a good example, these good intentions can't overcome the fact that sometimes you are going to be overtaken by an irrational and undesirable element of your being (that in my case has been going straight to the fridge and opening a cold beer whilst cocking his snoot at the eagerly awaiting turbo).  In short, everything's just a bit off kilter and my energy seems to be flagging, but I'm hoping it's just  a period of natural re-adjustment before coming back at it stronger.

It's not to say I've been totally idle though... I got one long ride and one short one in at the weekend (albeit sans colines) and in more glorious sun, and the legs felt surprisingly good afterwards so it's not going too awry, but it's the mid-week that I feel neglectful of as it just isn't enough otherwise.  I've set a target of increasing my ride distance from my circa 100-120km runs to 160-180 km runs by the start of May in good readiness for the Etape Caledonia, which although is shorter at 130km, I want to have the legs to make a good stab at seeing as I'll be fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support and folks will be seeing the results!  I've just opened my JustGiving page for the event and hope to raise as much as possible to help support people battling what is a frightening illness that can strike regardless of age or fitness. I'm hoping all you big-hearted road.cc'ers will support me and donate to what is a very worthy cause.

Finally getting round to opening the justgiving page and writing this has had a sobering effect... will refocus energies and get back into the mid-week training, and up earlier at the weekend to get into more club runs instead of solo runs at an easier pace.  Sunday I'll be riding Rapha's 'Hell of the North' ride, which aims to celebrate Paris-Roubaix with a 100k route taking in some rough tracks and cobbled sections so I'm looking forward to that and hoping I can at least perform better than my slightly flagging road.cc Fantasy Team!  The weather forecast is good and there will be free beer and frites at the finish line so I'll be glad my computer is there to record the ride for me lest my good intentions get edged out on the finish line by my more opportunistic if less dedicated side...