18 things that cyclists hate — duff rides you should try and avoid

Curry on a Saturday evening 

That feeling you get  when you notice that the car overtaking you is indicating left 

One that everybody has missed so far:

• Stopping at a cafe on the Sunday club run and forgetting to press start on the computer when you set off again, realising 15 miles later.  Nothing you do will get that distance back onto Strava!

"8. You attack as hard as you can, check over your shoulder to see how much of a gap you have… and they’re still on your wheel"

Never, ever look back, also don't "attack" just make it seem like your natural pace and that everything is a serene pootle even if inside you are absolutely on the limit. Looking back makes it look like you're trying which is a no-no. Wait for a bend in the road or a turn to have a peripheral look, do not move that head even slightly.

in any case if somone comes past you, so what, in fact I expect to be passed every time I'm out.

I do find it hilarious though when someone clearly trying comes past (and say nowt) only to drop about 20-30 metres in front and not get any further ahead, I've even eased off sometimes because I was catching them back up with no extra effort so I didn't want to seem like I was actually trying to do so, I just can't be arsed.

Drink too warm, either man the fuck up and simply drink it or prepare in advance, freeze one of your bottle/drinks and by time you're needing it as the second bottle it'll be defrosted to a cold drink,if it's hot enough to make your drinks warm.

I often just take a fiver out for a pint in the pub when I'm about 7 miles from home on a w/e ride, don't even take the house key sometimes, not bothered about taking a phone either and hardly bother with a computer anymore.

Not stressing about how fast/not fast you're going and just letting your body do the talking is how I prefer it, sure I'll check the data after the event if pop the GPS logger on but I'm really not that fussed for those type of rides anymore. Just use a computer for my utility bikes so I know timings for appointments/how far I've got to go to a specific destination.

I don't even hate punctures, haven't had one for a while so if one comes up I consider it a blessing because then I generally know it'll be a fair while til my next one and not having to think about it for a while.

Crappy English road surfaces.  Have me howling with rage on frequent occasions, particularly seeing as I do pay ROAD TAX on three cars...

1. Valbrona

All true except 

17. I kind of enjoy turbo now due to Zwift 
 

18. Kind of feels epic when its on the way home and you are on a good day 

"18 things that cyclists hate" - just to be clear, here, but are we talking about Real Proper Cyclists or just about people who use bicycles to get about in their daily life? 

Yep, I prefer to go out in the crappiest weather than ride my bluddy trainer

Black ice

(as discovered by the missus this morning coming back from the school run) /ouch

People riding bikes on shared use paths/cycle lanes without lights, dressed in black. Usually on full-sus BSOs with the saddle way too low.

Two things:

1. You've checked the weather, the sky is blue (or at least it doesn't look like it's going to rain and you've even checked the forecast on 3 weather apps and they all show no rain). You put your kit on, make the bike ready, looking forward to a nice ride. As soon as you open the door it's raining!

2. Pedestrians/joggers/dog walkers on bike lanes - they have no awareness of bikes and so make dangerous moves from left to right/right to left. They wouldn't do this on a street with cars!

(3. I really hate punctures, they interrupt my ride and I have to do irritating work to mend them. I perceive them as a very personal insult, a mental attack).

(3.a. The new bike pump takes 2000 strokes to pump the bloody tube to 2 bars)

(4. Being overtaken and not being able to follow the wheel of the 'idiot'. Another insult and mental attack!)

(5. Really upsetting when the bike computer stops working mid-ride, the navigation doesn't work (that was only a problem until I sold my Garmin Edge 1000!!!)  or you forget to start the device from the beginning of your ride!)

(6. Car drivers berating you (honking the horn, pointing fingers, giving you the fist etc ) for not using the bike lane even when there is plenty of space on the road. Taking the road is often necessary due to poorly maintained tarmac/potholes on the bike lanes or  you ride during 'dog-walking hours') so they are packed with pedestrians and joggers listening to loud music)

(7. Your phone starts ringing during a pleasant ride. Or you see the notification on your bike computer that your wife/kids are calling, sms'ing or your boss sends an e-mail. You don't want to stop and worry the for the rest of your ride: was that something important?)

(8. It a hot summers day - the water in your second bidon is now very warm and impossible to drink and you are very thirsty)

(9. Having to clean a very dirty bike after getting caught in heavy rain)

You've all got it wrong, ride the turbo/rollerers and you don't suffer any of the above. I only go out on the road to keep fit for the turbo.

Old recycled articles on cycling websites.

Headwinds on long flat roads

Contraflows - usually uphill - when it's impossible to get through while the lights are green.

First ride on a new bike and inevitably it rains and makes the bike dirty.